I’m writing this not as Editor-in-Chief of Indiana Review but simply as the person Essence London. I shut a door to a Black woman seeking publication April 3, 2019 because of my discomfort publishing the word “nigger.” I shared the story behind that discomfort in my apology to Cree Pettaway, but that matters less to me now than the fact that I hurt her and many more of us. I’m so sorry, y’all.

No one is obligated to forgive me, but I hope you can one day.

No one is obligated to show my missteps mercy, but I am grateful to those who have.

For almost a decade, I've been planning a press/an organization that centers our writing, and I’ve sought out opportunities like IR in preparation. I was applying for fellowships elsewhere as my days in grad school are coming to an end, but I will sit still for a while instead, continue to study and unlearn my harmful patterns, challenge my politics, so that I may become a wiser and more loving editor for us.

Email me here if you’d like to talk.